Life these days

Work work doctor’s office work school school school work gym

I feel like I’m not doing a good job.

Is it normal to have a feeling that I’m failing at everything that I’m doing?

I just cannot wait until the summer break comes so I can do absolutely nothing.

The only joy I have these days is just taking care of myself and my cat Lily.

Hopefully things get better.

La Boheme in Opera Bastille

I arrived in Paris at 6:00 AM on the 29th of December, and after I came at the Airbnb, I went to the Bastille Opera House in the afternoon to acquire some information regarding the “Youth tickets.”

I don’t know if that’s the correct term, but if you’re under 28 and there are seats available for that show for that day, you’re able to buy a 215€ worth orchestra ticket for 35€. All you need to do is go 30 mins before the show starts, and if they have availability, you show your ID to prove they you’re under 28 and, voila! You can see the opera. And since the Airbnb that I stayed in was ten mins walking distance from the Bastille Opera House, I was able to ask for information about the availability of the tickets and see the show!

I feel so lucky that I was able to see “La Boheme” in Paris. My words cannot express my happiness. I’ve been to the Palais Garnier Opera House but not to Bastille Opera House! And this was the inside of the Opera House. I had a pretty decent seat, and this was the view from my seat.

The background for this particular performance of “La Boheme” was in space. Rodolfo was in outer space, and as he was dying in space on the spaceship, he reminisces Mimi while slowly running out of oxygen.

At first when I read information about La Boheme in a space background… I was opposed and appalled by this bold experiment of setting the background of this most loved classic, renowned opera in space. I mean what?!?! I was highly doubtful about this bold attempt.

But when I read what the director was trying to portray about how looking at the past from the future accentuates the tragedy of the love relationship that Mimi and Rodolfo had, I fell in love with every part of this bold attempt. It did work.

Rodolfo sees Mimi, hallucinating the past, he looks at the history, sees what has happened as if it is happening in the present and Rodolfo in space, tries to touch Mimi, but he’s not able to hold her because she isn’t there. She’s the past. It was heartbreaking to see that, how the future is linked to the history that makes us miss our loved ones even more dearly.

A tenor named Benjamin Bernheim played Rodolfo, and he was terrific. As soon as he opened his mouth and started singing… It was just pure magic!

I wish I would be able to see his debut at the Metropolitan Opera House!

This blog is like a diary for me to jot down a few of my thoughts:)

Middle East Doha, Qatar

My relative lives in Qatar and I’ve been there before but it was my first time to visit a market called Souq Waqif . And oh boy I have to say, I can finally say that I’ve been to the Middle East.

The beautiful patterns of the coin wallets, lamps, the smell of cloves, the people trying to sell souvenirs saying “Nihaoma”. A little on the side note, one thing I’m glad about living in New York is that due to the large Korean population, they don’t say Hello to me in Chinese or in Japanese.

Anyways, it was really unique and interesting to experience all the different type of Arabic culture, such as Syrian, Lebanese, Pakistan, Indian, etc restaurants everywhere with the sweet scent of the smoke of sheesh(?). In the back alleys, a huge pet store, selling perfume, cloths and Arabic sweets.

Street performance of a group of men singing, the women covered in hijab and the men wearing their traditional clothing was not something I’m used to seeing everyday.

It’s now winter in Doha so it had the perfect weather, 65 F. A perfect getaway from the freezing New York.

I got to have Syrian food with my relative and I have to say, boy oh boy it was delicious. Hummus and baba ganoush and something wrapped around in grape leaves with the freshly made bread. Oh, my gooodnessssssss. It was so good and I can’t forget the mint & lemon drink; which was not too sweet and not too sour, just perfect. It was just a perfect evening to spend time with my relative with. Even though we haven’t seen each other for a long time, it felt as if we were together the whole time.

Doha was nice to visit for a couple hours. I hope to see visit again!

But first, next stop is Paris. Once again 🙂

Little thoughts about my Singing Lessons

I remember it was at the end of 2015, I’ve just finished a musical production “A Funny thing that happened on the way to the Forum” in my college. I was playing the main role Philia. At that time I didn’t have much training so I didn’t know how to fu**ing sing this one song which eventually wasn’t even part of the show. And there was also a very rude girl who wanted the role that I was playing and she would look down upon me when I wasn’t able to sing the song. I was instantly pissed and I was determined to get some singing lessons. I was also not trained and very insecure. That’s why I decided to find a singing teacher. 

I’m not writing this to promote my singing teacher or anything, I just wanted to share something that I felt today. 

Anyways I was looking for a singing teacher and I was asking around and I was also looking online. There was a website called Thumbtack and you can look up people of what kind of services that you’re looking for. There were a lot of people offering me to be my singing teacher. They introduced themselves and they informed me with their hourly rates blah blah blah. It’s just my opinion but everyone was talking about themselves. They mentioned their awards, performing in shows like this and that blah blah blah. 

But there was this one person who asked about me. It was my singing teacher. He asked me where I’ve performed the musical production. I wanted to find someone who’d care about me and after dealing with my talking over the phone phobia, I finally found my guts to call him. 

He’s been my singing teacher ever since! I think the phrase “to each their own” fits well in this case because he was what I needed. Someone who really cared about me. He’s my therapist every week lol. 

It’s been over a year since I’ve been taking singing lessons from him. I still didn’t overcome a lot of my problems when I’m singing. For instance breathing;; when I’m nervous I tend to not breath which makes me sound like a squeaking child lol. But it helps me, seeing Larry(my singing teacher) every week. Sometimes the lessons make me feel like out of this world and sometimes it’s just deep shit hell. 

Recently it’s been deep shit hell but it was because I wouldn’t let go and just breathe. It’s hard to explain but what I’ve learned about singing is that the most important thing about singing is

  1. Breathing 
  2. Words
  3. Note

I’m going to get through this slump by practicing and hopefully I get over the breathing phase. Ughhhhhh if it was that easy just like that. 

But I’m not going to give up. This means the world to me. It makes me so happy singing opera arias and broadway music etc. I think that’s the most important thing. That you love something so much you don’t care if you’re good or not, you just keep going. That’s what singing means to me, I might not be amazingly talented and might not be able to hit the right notes and sound terrible. 

But I love doing it. 

So good luck to me and I wish me luck!


Oh and ps! Later on I realized why he was interested where I performed the musical production “A Funny thing that happened on the way to the Forum” because he worked with the creator of that show Steven Sondheim. Steven Sondheim even wrote my singing teacher a recommendation which later on got him the job in Hartford University. Pretty cool eh? 

It’s amazing what life brings you sometimes. I’m so lucky to have him in my life.